Today, not tomorrow, not starting next year, I challenge you to grow. Change is easy over time, but very difficult at the beginning. One must seek, and be open to change in order to grow. And everyone grows in their own way at their own pace. My vision of personal growth is my own vision of personal growth and if it doesn’t work exactly for you, try to alter it in a way that fits your goals and lifestyle.
The first step is taking a step. Get off your ass and spend 5 minutes doing something to better yourself. It doesn’t take much to see the effects of trying, because it gets easier, and you get better every day that you continue this path. Of course there will be ups, downs, and obstacles, but if you put your focus on the things that fulfill your goals, no one can stop you from reaching them but yourself ...And put down that cookie right now, and stop telling yourself that this is the last one or that you’ll start your diet tomorrow. The body and mind are connected more than you know and fueling your system properly can improve mental health, and allow your body to heal more easily.
Write down long-term and short-term goals, your strengths and weaknesses, and your passions. Be positive with your language, and set challenging goals. Set goals that will make your life better, and allow you to have more freedom in the long-run. Because freedom, at least in my opinion, is true wealth. Freedom also doesn’t mean being lazy, but rather pursuing something that you’ll want to do for the rest of your life. Chances are you will be working well past 65, so make sure that you make the best of it.
Everyone is at their own place and has their own desire for how they want to spend their energy, confronting challenges that face them or running away. I was lucky enough to be forced into a place where I didn’t have a choice but to conquer my fear. As a last ditch effort to save my marriage, I quit my job and went to Italy with my wife to her hometown because she was sick and didn’t trust the American health care system. After just a few days there we realized that it was over and I needed to go my own way, so I ended up spending the rest of my time there in a tent along the coast of Tuscany. I don’t speak Italian, and had very little money so I decided to spend my time there committing to personal growth.
The important thing to remember is to try to be open minded, and accurately reflective of ourselves, and to love ourselves. Loving ourselves, or in my case loving myself has been one of the hardest things to accomplish in the 34 years I’ve been alive. I was flooded with insecurities and wounds from birth and for me to grow through these things I had to open up old wounds. Opening up old wounds can feel like going backwards with our feelings and emotions but in all reality we are opening ourselves up to a world of freedom. And it really does feel like you are going backwards for a while, and I hit some very low points along the way but knew that my old way of life was not the life my hero would live. And I decided along my journey that no longer can I look up to other people, I can learn from them, but I must look up to no one but myself.
Many of us do struggle to see things for how they are because what it takes to grow is very difficult and even humbling in many ways. And that’s ok too, even if an innocent person is living life with blinders they still have great qualities and we can always learn a thing or two from anyone around us. Try to wake them up if you can but don’t waste too much energy on those people who are stagnant or who slow your own personal growth. It is so important to be open to these lessons, because when we don’t think we will learn a lesson we have a much harder time learning a lesson… think about it. And if people don’t belong in our life that is a valuable lesson too.
Surrounding yourself with the right people is something that is so important, yet so difficult. We get so comfortable with the people around us because they are familiar to us, and it is easy to feel obligated to a friend or family member because we want others to be committed to us. And growing doesn’t mean that we need to cut cut people off, because it is important to have a community. But don’t feel obligated to spend time with people without a purpose, because if you have obligations to yourself you must fulfill these first. And the energy you'll put into those people will be much more powerful as you grow as an individual.
As long as you are looking at other people as better or smarter or more deserving than yourself, you’ll be stuck in a loop of uncertainty. This was my problem for the longest time. Whether you look up to a god or have no spirituality whatsoever, in order to fulfill our own personal will we must make an effort to become better. Do yourself a favor and become your own hero.
Peace and Love. Take it Easy, take it Smeezy! And thank you for being here.
William Smariga
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